Is Yours a...

Hot Poetry Site Logo

If you want to see if your site is likely to make it as a Hot Poetry Site, try this simple test. Just answer each of the questions below with either 'Yes' or 'No'. Then rate your site according to the scoring system below. Finally, the evaluation system will enable you to determine whether you should consider applying for Hot Poetry Site status. Good luck, and don't take it too seriously.

The Questions
  1. If it doesn't rhyme, it's not a poem.
  2. Iambic pentameter is an architectural term.
  3. I have a poem called "Thoughts" or "Feelings" on my site.
  4. I never revise - I don't want to spoil the purity of my first inspiration.
  5. I don't read other people's poetry - I want my own to be unadulterated.
  6. No poetry page is complete without a background MIDI file.
  7. It's ok to reproduce copyright poems - it just gives the poet more publicity.
  8. Frames are cool - all my linked sites load into a frame.
  9. 'name' rhymes with 'gain' (Score eliminated if you understand the terms 'vowel rhyme' or 'near rhyme')
  10. Poems should be about important issues, like the Environment, or Domestic Violence.
  11. My poems are about Universal Abstracts, like Love and Religion.
  12. If you read the poems on my site you will become a better person.
  13. All poetry comes from the heart, and is therefore valid.
  14. I am trying to eliminate emotion from my poetry.
  15. My site contains the first poem I ever wrote.
  16. The poems on my site were written when I was going through a messy divorce.
  17. I truly believe that everyone can write poetry.
  18. I want a Hot Poetry Site award, but I'm not going to put a link in to Peter's site.
  19. I've found out how to make following a link launch a new browser.
  20. My page's background file is 256kbytes, but hey! it's worth the wait.
  21. I use lots of four letter words in my poems, cuz I'm really macho.
  22. i think capitalising the first person singular pronoun is arrogant.
  23. punctuation is irrelevant
  24. I didn't check the formatting of my pages before I uploaded them.
  25. I didn't check the formatting of my pages after I uploaded them.
  26. What I have to say is too important to be constrained by form.
  27. Plural's always include apostrophe's.
  28. I have a Geocities site. (OK, this is unfair. There are some good Geocities poetry sites. But I get to hear about lots and lots and lots of dreadful ones.)
  29. I have a link to the NLP site.
  30. The word 'ere' occurs in a poem of mine that I have not destroyed.
  31. The compiler of this questionnaire is a pompous git.

Scoring
  • Score one point for each 'Yes' answer.
  • Deduct five points if the questionnaire amused you.
  • Add five points if you found the questionnaire annoying or insulting.
  • Cheat, by looking at the 'evaluation' section before finalising your score.
  • If you needed to cheat, add five points.
  • If you were surprised by the evaluation section, add ten points.
  • If you scored in the spirit of the exercise, rather than by the letter, halve your score.

Evaluation
  • 0 You might, just might, get your site onto my Hot Poetry Sites list.
  • 1-2 You won't make it Hot, but I might be interested in linking your site anyway.
  • 3-30 Forget it. We're not on the same wavelength.
  • Over 30 You must have cheated. But e-mail me anyway: you might just earn my "Worst Poetry Site of All Time" award.
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